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Showing posts from January, 2021

Today I am a 4.

It is a common misconception that those of us who suffer with depression, experience it as if it were a cold or a headache, like an ailment that will at some point just ‘pass’ with the help of some Night Nurse and a hot water bottle, or in the case of mental illness, anti-depressants. The reality is though, depressives are always depressed, and the ‘condition’ never actually disappears, it is simply that the severity of the symptoms fluctuate constantly depending on several external factors and the sufferer’s ability to manage them. Each day, I measure the severity of my depression using a basic ‘one to ten’ scale (a tip I got from Alastair Campbell, former Downing Street Communications Director and avid mental health campaigner), the pinch points in my scale help me to establish how I am feeling and the steps I need to take in order to manage my mood at that point. For the purposes of explanation, I call this depressedometer (a little grim I know): 1 – Absolute contentment. 2

I am a depressive.

I actually feel at peace saying those four words. It is a common misconception that people who suffer from depression don't like to talk about it and whilst this is often the case, it is also true that some of us actually enjoy discussing our mental ailments. Despite the satisfaction I get from talking about my suffering (the reasons for which I will share in a future post), I have one over-riding fear - that I won't be believed. Don't get me wrong, this post isn't a cry for help, those close to me are all aware that I am a depressive and that I have it, broadly speaking, under control (with the help of therapy and regular medication).  That I seek no help in making this statement or publishing this blog still does not eclipse the tummy-churning prospect of the inevitable response of some: "never had this depression crap back in my day" , "what's he got to be depressed about?" , "he looks pretty happy to me" , "Oh it's just ner

Why am I blogging?

Sunday 17th January 2021 , nothing particularly unusual about today: a morning walk on the beach with my fiancée Holly, my daughter Ottilie and our two dogs Freddy and Finley; preparing the usual Sunday roast which normally accompanies Ottilie's fortnightly visit; and twenty minutes spare in which I'm going to scratch the itch I've had for a few weeks to start a blog. In the interest of complete transparency (and of course not wanting to make promises one cannot keep!), I cannot guarantee anything to readers of this blog beyond honesty and a passionate case for causes that matter (to me anyway). I guess that is likely to be the USP of this blog, unfettered honesty and of course, the odd spelling mistake here and there. I have many interests, some significant and others less so, some which most will find commendable, others less so: - Depression - Alzheimer's - Sport - Politics There are more, but this somewhat eclectic mix of four are the ones which consume a sizeable c